Employed Dot Com!!!

WELL!  We arrived up to our interview at the Safari Park on Thursday at 10.30am precise!, clear-headed and raring to go and waited to meet Nuch, the Marketing and Sales Manager.  We were pencilled in, in the diary at the main reception – things were looking good.  Nuch arrived and was absolutely delightful.  She was super excited that we had emailed her and offered to volunteer at the park and said we were the first foreigners, in the history of the park, that had EVER done that!  Firstly she wanted to know a bit about us, how long we were staying in Koh Samui, where we lived, what we wanted to do at the Park.  We gave her all the relevant info and said that we were willing to do whatever they needed us to do (That was to prove foolhardy later on!!!) and really felt that we were privileged even having the opportunity! She said that she would love us to come and work with them (after she had ascertained that we weren’t Greenpeace moles!) and wanted to show us around the park and explain what they were all about - we started off at the Tiger enclosure!  Bacchius is their 1-year old Bengal Tiger and we were allowed to take some photos of him with us – my God what an impressive creature (pics will follow on FB!).  We were allowed to sit by him and stroke him, right out in the open – no cages or anything.  What an absolutely amazing experience.  We were then introduced to one of two 2-month old cubs, Bernie (Bushee being the other) and under unrestricted supervision were allowed to feed, by bottle, milk to him!  He sat on our knees and put his huge paws (as big as a bloke’s hands) on ours and sucked and sucked away – slightly hairy moment as I heard Dan call out “the milk’s running out, THE MILK’S RUNNING OUT!!!!” but he was fine, just rolled over and wanted his tummy tickled, inbetween serious paw swipes and a few growls that we were assured were playful!  The cub was just fine too – curled up and went to sleep in the corner!

Next we were ushered down to meet Omm, a new mum and her baby daughter, the first baby elephant born in Koh Samui, named Kwan Samui.  Kwan was born on 2^nd October so is not yet a month old yet weighs about 1 tonne already!  She is still finding her feet and wobbles about a quite a lot – she almost looks like she’s had a few too many when she tries to run and her legs get the better of her (we’ve all been there folks!), her feet sometime get the better of her and she ends up, upended on her backside or head.  She runs about underneath her mum and it’s quite clear that she doesn’t quite know what her trunk is for yet as she keeps stepping on it!!  There are about 25 grown elephants at the Park varying in ages from the baby to about 35 others including a very naughty 4 year old that WILL not do as it’s told.  Every elephant has their own Mahout (their keeper) who sleeps at the park and is with the elephant 24/7.  They feed them, train them, wash them, and basically are their carers.  Its very obvious how much they do care for their charges as they whisper in their ears, stroke them, pet them and generally and genuinely seem to want them to prosper in the environment of the Park. 

Crocodiles were next on the list – we met several but there were numerous others than really, REALLY looked like they wanted to get to know us better – preferably over dinner!  We really did keep a safe disance from these slippery suckers.  Nuch told us that she wanted us to help the keepers with the shows in the coming weeks …. Don’t hold your breath on that one.  If they want English commentary no problem, if they want heads to stick in their jaws – we are the wrong volunteers!!!!

Cobras and Pythons came next and Christ they looked mean.  We watched the snake show and decided that we wanted to be nowhere near anything that could raise it’s body up to half it’s height and puff it’s neck out to 4 times it’s body width.  At the end of the show, we did however end up with two 15lb pythons wrapped around our bodies, necks and legs and actually loved it – they even kissed our cheeks!!!

We ended our interview with Nuch absolutely delighted by the way we reacted to everything and said she would like us to come and volunteer straight away (of course she does – we come free!!!).    She wants us to learn about animal welfare for all the animals they have, wants us to learn how to help train the animals for the shows and also to teach English to the Thai staff as well as be interpreters for the foreign tourists.  English is the common language so we are well placed to let the tourists know all about the Park and its inhabitants, their ethos and future plans.  She also wants us to be able to drive the ATVs and jeeps and take groups on the safaris and up to the waterfalls that are on the park!  The only worry she has was what they would feed us a lunch times – we said as long as WE weren’t on the menu we’d quite happily eat whatever they were going to give us (our second foolhardy mistake!!!).  Armed with our red Namuaung Safari Park polo shirts we headed home, happy and excited about starting on Friday at 8.30am!!

Take care M&D x

Koh Tao and that ONE grain of curry paste….

The one grain of curry paste that was left was vicious!  Dan’s Thai Green Curry was completely inedible it was so hot.  We ended up having to rinse the chicken pieces in boiling water and add it to rice and mayo to even attempt to eat it.  I’ll cook next time!

We were up and about for a 6am start Monday to head off by taxi and ferry to Koh Tao, a much smaller island about 2 hours away by boat.  Dan has somewhat of an allergic reaction to boats although he is making progress in that whilst still green round the gills, the urge to honk his eggs and bacon everywhere has somewhat abated!!! (Nik you should know what I’m taking about – remember Tenerife!!!)!  We arrived in Koh Tao around 10.30am after stopping off to drop passengers at Koh Phangan (home of the Full Moon Parties!) after a fairly pleasant boat trip in terms of the weather and ferocity of the sea and Dan’s colour was slowly returning!  The scenery was stunning; loads of little uninhabited islands surrounded us, their tops shrouded in cigarette smoke coloured mist and clouds!  It was quite eerie! 

We had no accommodation pre-booked so set off amid a torrential downpour to find a bed for the night!  As you can imagine at a ferry port we were hounded by touts offering tours and the like and eventually picked one who was offering cheap accommodation just 10 minutes away.  The offer of 400 Baht a night seemed too good to be true – oh and boy was it!!!  We got into a taxi and were taken to a place called Sairee Cottage – it was a dive school and inhabited by all sorts of beardy weirdies – and they were the human variety!!  The room was rank; in the middle of a sort of garden at the back of the resort, no path or anything – you had to fight your way through vegetation and the like to get to it.  There wasn’t a solid wall in the place – take that as an open invitation for anything big to crawl through the walls, doors or floors!  No, we said – we didn’t really think it would suit us and beat a very hasty retreat!  £8 a night or not!  It was at this point that we realised that we were not going to enjoy slumming it!!! 

We walked down the length of Sairee Beach, which was just gorgeous, and all along its shore it was populated with other small resorts, dive centres, bars, restaurants and bungalow accommodation.  Almost at the end of our walk we happened upon a place called Bowthong Resort – this looked OK, a huge step up from the previous place so we booked a room there.  It was a traditional Thai bungalow (a wee bamboo house on stilts) and whilst not great, would do us for that night.  The rest of the day was spent sunbathing and swimming and a miracle happened – Dan finally mastered the art of snorkelling – and LOVED it!  After some gentle coaching from me that he could in fact actually breath underwater with the aid of the snorkel and that he was not to panic as soon as his face went under the water, the urge to fill the mask up with phlegm, spit and snot finally left him.  He was off!  A huge bonus from this new found skill was that he was actually swimming in the sea – something that before, he was most uncomfortable with.

We sat on the beach eating freshly cooked corn on the cobs from the beach man and waited for sunset.  Expecting magnificence we were bitterly disappointed to see that clouds had built up and blotted out the expected sunset.  The only thing we experienced was a charge of the bloody Light Brigade of mozzies that practically bit every part of exposed flesh!!!!

More disappointment was around the corner when we returned to our room – the shower was just three strands of water, jetting out in every direction but ours so getting even damp was going to be a problem!!  Covered in sand and oil and the general grime of the day was going to be difficult to remove!!!  We sat down on the bed in the room to contemplate our fate and as the last coiled spring in it poked us in the arse we decided there was only one way to cope – go out and get blind smashed!!!!!

Dinner was great; the wine and beer even better!  We discussed our predicament with increasing enthusiasm and cries of “We’re ‘ard from the ‘Nard – we can do it”!  Encouraged by the flow of alcohol we decided to head off to another bar for a night cap before retiring to our beds!

The other bar was so much more than a bar, it was a restaurant set back in the rocks at the very end of the beach with lay-down seats and little low tables with candles on, the most attentive yet unobtrusive staff in the entire world – and they did accommodation – AND they had a vacancy – we just asked on the off chance –as you do like! I went to view it just for curiosity sake of course – NO WAY were we going to pay for more accommodation!  Oh my giddy aunt!  It was a tree house set up in the coconut palms, reached by wooden slats, with a hammock hanging on the terrace overlooking the beach.  The doors opened up to the most gorgeous room I’ve ever seen, the bedspreads were made into lotus flowers, shell curtains cordoned off the bedroom from the bathroom area, bamboo sofas and furniture were scattered around the room.  The bathroom and shower was the size of a small ship and was actually outside – yeah outside - in the tops of the trees!  It was so unique – bosh! decision made – we now had two rooms to choose from – here’s the thing – guess which one got booted!  Hmmmmmm – no shit Sherlock!!!!!  Three Long Island Iced Teas later and we never even went back to collect our stuff from the other place.  We hung out like Robinson Crusoe in our hammock overlooking the twinkling lights of the beach and all was good with the world!  7am the next morning, I scarpered off to collect our belongings and conscience won out – I paid the bill for the room even though we didn’t stay there.  You know I wasn’t dragged up!!!!! 

Day Two in Koh Tao brought a kayak adventure which culminated in us tipping each other out and it up, not once but thrice!!!!  We were just thrilled with our kayaking prowess I can tell you and kept more than a few tourists on the beach mighty amused!! Eventually we managed to get us both in the damn thing and stay upright and Dan fancied trying his hand at snorkelling in the deep water off the reef but I fear that his new found confidence was about to be dashed if he rushed into this and so gently said that I’d do it first and see if there was anything worth seeing down there.  After about 5 minutes I decided to clamber back into the kayak and as I’d spent so little time snorkelling, Dan was convinced I’d seen “something” down there and decided that yes, perhaps he shouldn’t run before he could walk on that score!!!!  The afternoon was spent on the Koh Tao Cabana sun beds – huge things, like a 4-poster double bed, with comfy mattresses and pillows and we were brought not one, but two towels each for our comfort.  This alone was worth every extra penny we spent on the room!  We were dining at the Rim Lae, the restaurant attached to the Cabana and after showering outside in the rain – bizarre and quite surreal – we were just about to head for dinner and Dan noticed a rather large spider just above our bed!  We are complete novices in knowing what will kill you with venom and what will just give you a nasty nip so hailed down to reception for “a man”!  Up he duly came and removed the offending object, chuckling away to himself, it was only a common or garden spider!  I sure he was thinking what namby-pambies us English tourists were!!!

We BBQ-ed our own dinner in the restaurant at our own table and just sat and listened to the sounds of the night; the rain drizzling away and the rumblings of distant thunder split occasionally by flashed of forked lighting.  Nature at its most ferocious.

Wednesday it was time to head home and we awoke to the most terrific storm yet.  All of a sudden the palm trees were at 45 degree angles with the force of the wind, the electricity went off, the sun just seemed to disappear – the sky was almost black.  We opened the doors to the room and sat on the terrace and just watched in absolute fascination at the weather.  Then the most horrific thought occurred ……Dun Dun Duuuuuuun ….. the ferry trip home! Oh Christ this was going to be interesting.  The next few hours pre-departure were spent begging and pleading and practically selling our bodies for anyone that had anti-seasickness pills!  After an long walk we saw a faint green cross blinking in the distance – a pharmacy!  Wahay!!!!  Saved!  Or so we thought.  The crossing was horrendous!  The huge catamaran might as well have been an origami boat!  We were getting tossed here, there and everywhere and how my wee fella managed to keep his BLT and coconut milkshake down is anyone’s guess.  He seriously manned up to the challenge and whilst he spend the entire trip standing, white-knuckled, gripped on the to hand rails at the top front of the boat, in a force 9 – not speaking, or even looking, at me – he did it – stomach contents remained in tact.  I’m not quite sure how long the green pallor will take to fade though.  Hopefully the thought of our interview for volunteer jobs at the Safari Park will help bring some colour to his cheeks by Thursday! 

Take care M&D x

PS we’ve been for the interview, got the job – you won’t wanna miss the next blog I can tell you!!!!!

Home cooked food and waterfalls

We were due to move next Wednesday to our new beachside apartment but due to the severe weather conditions have decided to stay put were we are, some good way away from the beach (about 15 mins walk).  We were told stories from the bar owner that this time last year, the tide came in so far it nearly washed the bar and its contents into the sea and there wasn’t much differentiation between the swimming pool and the waves lapping into it from the beach.  The pool is about 10 feet from what was going to be our new front door!  We are starting to come into rainy season proper and if the last few days are anything to go by, we are in for an experience.  The thunderclaps are loud enough to wake you from a deep slumber and the after-effect of the rolls are enough to keep you awake into the wee hours.  Thunderstorms at home seem to last seconds in comparison to Thailand.  They last for hours – all night sometimes.  We awake at home to knocked-off car alarms; we wake in Thailand to the constant braying of disgruntled Oxen! 

Mind you the rain does make the plantation look a bit like Jurassic Park, all fog-covered tree tops and mist swirling around them – seeing a dinosaur peering out at you over the palms would not look out of place.  The rain does bring out beautiful huge butterflies though; the size of your hands – we almost mistook them for birds.  It also has a nasty habit of bringing out swarms of mozzies too and we have been bitten to pieces these last few nights.  How can something so small be such a sodding nuisance.  No amount of air conditioning or deet spray seems to keep them at bay at the moment and what the hell ever happened to them buzzing around your ear’oles to give you a warning of the impending bite – oh no – now they have perfected their bloody noise cloaking device they have become the silent night time assassins! We are covered in what looks like skin covered smarties, so huge is the aftermath of their nips!!!

We hope that our recent blessing and a gift of a coloured string bracelet by a Buddhist monk will keep us safe from the water and the mozzies!  Not entirely sure how our 20 Baht donation towards new loos at his local temple equates to keeping our body and soul safe and well, but there you go – when in Thailand and all that!

We have been trying not to let the weather affect us though and whilst it’s not sunbathing weather its still stiflingly (is that a word!) hot.  We have been out and about on the bike and any ray of sun keeps the tan going without us realising it.  Although we don’t wear helmets on the scooter we do take one with us when we go to Nathon as you have to ride right past the main Police station on the one-way system and there are signs everywhere saying “wear safe helmet”!  We forget the other day!  Oops!  Fortunately we got away with it and avoided a 500 Baht fine (about a tenner!).  The next time we headed out in that direction, we did remember the helmet and Dan found that he was sharing headspace with a lizard and that was an interesting moment of realisation - at about 60kph!  Needless to say, the lizard is no more! 

The law is strange here – although you are required to wear a helmet in some areas, regardless of how many are ON the scooter, only one person needs to don one!  Bizarre!!!

Dan has been keeping himself regularly employed by adopting the role of pool cleaner.  Out he is with his aqua-based hoover thingamijig happy as … well…. A pool cleaner can be!  Might get our rent reduced at least!!!! On the subject of employment – we have applied to the local elephant reserve to offer our services as volunteers in looking after them and hope that comes to something as it would be just awesome to see them in that environment other than just using them as a means of transport.  On the otherside of the employment scale, we have also applied for bar jobs in Lamai, the tourist mecca, at Bondi Aussie Bar and Grill – we’re keeping in real in downtown Samui.  Dan has even been roped into providing the music round of the local weekly quiz but I’m not sure how well received 10 questions on 80s soul and Luther Vandross will be received!!!!

We took ourselves off yesterday to view the waterfalls thinking that the recent rainfall would have contributed to their magnificence!  Niagara they ain’t but nonetheless they were fairly impressive, impressive enough to endure a 30-minute elephant ride and 20-minute jeep safari to the top of the canopy to see them and for Dan to swim in the extremely deep pool beneath the very top waterfall.  He’s getting braver by the day!!!  On the elephant trek we passed all sorts of animals; from somersaulting monkeys, to deer to geese to tigers -  it is a safari park in the main but the word safari being loosely used as the animals were caged.  They looked reasonably well cared for but still, it always leaves me saddened to see them in captivity and performing for paying tourists.  Don’t suppose we can be too self-righteous though as it was a captive elephant called Gigi that took us up through the park quite happily on her back!

We have also been cooking at home and shopped accordingly at Tescos.  The pricing structure is quite unusual there – cheese is very expensive yet you can buy a massive lump of fresh ginger for about 5p! I made our first Thai curry last night and for someone who is not keen in the kitchen I have to say, it wasn’t half bad.  We saved a bit for our landlord to try and he was most impressed and said a pat on the back was in order!!!  Dan’s turn next as he claims he is a dab-hand – let’s see what he can do with a stick of lemongrass, two Thai tangerines and some beef fillet oh and the one remaining grain of curry paste!!!

Take care M&D x

Puppies on Scooters and Monkeys with Kittens….

Life is moving at a wonderfully slow pace on Koh Samui but each day is still filled with marvels.  We gathered coconuts fresh from the palms on the beach and learnt, from our Thai landlady, Yar, how to husk them.  The coconuts we see at home at the fairground bear almost no resemblance to the nut it is original state.  They are the size of melons and bright green and grow in absolute abundance all over the island.  We brought home two from the beach with absolutely no idea how to get into them, in fact we were unsure they were actually coconuts at all!!!  There is a knack …. Step 1) Big knife!  Step 2) Nimble fingers!!  Step 3) No fear of blood or severed digits!!!  Basically we have learnt the skill of hacking…  hacking to death for the first 10 minutes to get rid of all the thick green peel.  What you are left with is a white version of what we know as coconuts.  If you want the milk from the inside you make a big crack in the top and hack out a hole, if you don’t, then deftly apply a hatchet equally around the middle of the nut to break it open – and therein lies the fruit! I have never before tasted such amazing coconut.  It was moist and delicious – by the time we get coconuts at home, in comparison its really dry.  Another skill to add to our growing repetoire!

We have been learning Thai!  If you heard us speak, you’d be amazed…. : Wan jan wan ang-kaan, sawadee kah, wan pe rue hat, wan aa-tit, kar poon ca!”  Monday, Tuesday, hello, Thursday, Sunday and thaaaaaaaaaaang yooooooo!!!!  We are almost fluent as you can see!!!  Fortunately beer is beer and wine is wine so we won’t  expire just yet!!!

In all our ventures to do everything Thai we did succumb today to a roast dinner!  Yes even here, that English tradition lives on!  The meal was delish and other than a monkey beside us babysitting a 4-week old kitten it was rather like being at home in any old restaurant!!! Kids screaming and way too many Brits!!!!  Might give that a miss for the next wee while until the urge for a Sunday Roast gets too much again!!!

Riding a scooter, as we’ve mentioned before, is no mean feat on the roads here.  At first it was hairy now its just plain ludicrous, we have perfected the art of me riding the scooter, with Dan on the back, holding an 8-week old puppy,  rucksack, fishing rod and cool-bag complete with Singha (bottles of the local brew!) – Methinks that is called progress!!!!!  Still, I do think that Dan prefers to be in the driving seat with me holding the baggage!!! 

We are most definitely settling into life here including not being so paranoid about all the dogs.  Dan has a close following of several beach pooches, he looks like the Pied Piper as he wanders up and down the beach with his wee harem of canines following loyalty in his wake!  One even tries to get in the canoe with him when he goes out on his fishing quests – Sasha!  She is a wee pet and very protective of the two of us to the point that every time I go in the sea, she comes with me and just sits by my side watching out for danger!  That came in the form of a huge black, bearheaded, wolfhound beast yesterday…. Needless to say, she buggered off and left me at the mercy of a very big set of jaws!!!  Thankful the hateful creature didn’t really like the sea where I took refuge and sodded off eventually!  Not a pleasant experience.

The little local bar that we frequent now refer to us as the new locals, so much to the point that we do serve ourselves and anyone else that’s waiting, behind the bar, shortly to be renamed Maria and Dan’s, yes that is right, MARIA and Dan’s and just leave what we owe in the till!  They are so trusting and friendly its almost hard to believe in this day and age.

We are four weeks in almost and while it feels like we’ve been here for ever, it will never seem long enough.

Take care M&D xxxx

Pancakes on the run.....

'Twas the night before Big Game Fishing meaning an early start and no hangover….wrong on both counts!!!  We ended up having a meal with mad Austrian Micky (who we were going fishing with the next morning) and his wife Neet.  She is one mean cook!  You don’t get a menu when you arrive up, just asked what do you want and then she tells you what she’s cooking that particular evening!  It was pork, and so keen was she for us to sample it, she took us into her little kitchen at the back of the property to watch it sizzling away in the oven!!!  She made special Austrian/Thai dumplings to go with it and it was spectacular!  May have to take a few cooking lessons off her!  Dessert was banana pancakes but not made in her kitchen.  A motorbike completed with mobile pancake stall attached like a sidecar went whizzing by the end of road and Micky let out a mahoosive whistle and flagged him down.  The skill of the pancake man was amazing – Dan watched him as he made pancakes with every bit of skill as a master-pizza maker had and they were delicious!

We set off the next morning, early for us at 8am.  We were picking up the boat just a 5-minute drive away and went in Micky’s car.  On the journey, and to our horror, he started driving on the opposite side of the road (Thais drive on the same side as us normally!)  We asked what he was doing and Dan told him he wasn’t in Austria now – he said the other side of the road was bumpy and full of pot holes and he didn’t like it!!!  Fair enough reason I suppose!!!

We were on a traditional Thai fishing boat, just us three and one captain, Bom.  The fish were biting straight away but it was fishing without rods (sounds like a Westlife song title!!).  The fishing line was just that, a line and a hook dropped over the side with a weight and some squid bait.  None of the fish that were caught were massive, but they were plentiful – about 50 in all!  After we stopped for lunch on an island called Koh Tan, I wanted to sunbathe, so got dropped off on a little remote island and did just that – THREE hours later they came back for me.  It was a bit eery being on an island knowing that it was devoid of any other humans!!!

Despite great plans to dine on our catch that night, after a shower and supposedly a nap, we woke up several hours late, too late for dinner or socializing so we made do with chicken noodle soup and flat bread!!!

The next few days were spent at our little beach and pondering on our next port of call.  Plan was to go to Koh  Phangan for a month but being a much, much smaller island we thought that maybe a month was going to be too much and as we haven’t even really dipped our toes in Ko Samui yet, decided to find a more permanent home on Samui.  We met a girl at our local beach bar who has an English fiancé, Mason – who was currently taxi-driving in Essex!!!!  She knew of someone who had some apartments to rent so off we scooted with her on our scooter, she on hers complete with her two dogs, one front and one back!  What a balancing act!  The apartments were up near the local waterfall and elephant park and where lovely and very cheap but not really what we wanted.  We got talking to a Dutchman later in the day who told us that there were apartments going at our little beach so we enquired of the Norweigan owner and he showed us one that he had available and there you have it – Robert’s your father’s brother - we now have a home for the next four months!!!  The address will be Coco Beach, Leamsor, Ko Samui!  How cool is that!

Dan, as you know is now a fully paid-up member of the Guild of Koh Samui Fishermen and after several catches and offering them up to Neet, at the local restaurant, she knows us sufficiently well now to tell us that they were too small to eat and they are used as bait without fear of offending us!!!  So I have had to learn a new skill – squid gutting and filleting!  After a very informative video on uTube I made my first, and if I say so myself, very good attempt at gutting and filleting our squid.  Chop head off, avoiding sharp beak – Done!,  Slit body down the side avoiding ink sack – Done!  Scrap out innerds and membrane – Done.  Chop up into strips ready for bait hooking!  Done!  Gordon Ramsay – step aside sonny – there’s a new girl in town!

Our weekly night out loomed – a lift into town with Colin, the landlord meant we could both have a couple of beers without worrying about the riding the scooter – not a good idea for either driver or pillion to be pissed on these roads!  Dan had been threatening for about a week or so to get his hair cut and we found a hairdressers in Lamai that was willing to do just that for £2!  Now sporting a newly revealed white hair line and about a millimeter of hair all over, I have a skinheaded fiancé!!!!  Dan thinks it shows up what he considers his receding hair line and grey hairs – what nonsense!  They were there before!!! 

Take care all M&D x

Fisherman Flash and the Koh Samui Guild of Master Fishermen

Well it’s been a few days since the last blog, so get a cuppa and sit down and be prepared for a good old read – we’ve lots to tell!

After a fruitless day’s fishing – again on Wednesday, we headed home and went for a swim to cool off.  Colin, our landlord invited us out for a walk in the plantation with him and his two retrievers, Ben and Sam.  I declined but Dan was keen to continue his hunt for snakes!  Not entirely sure what he would do should he see the tail end of a python or cobra in the undergrowth but off they set anyway.  About an hour or so later they returned, I’m not sure that Dan enjoyed the experience as he was constantly on alert for the elusive snakes and came back with tales of battling through vast forestation and fighting off big spiders and insects!!!!  I think he may have seen a hornet or two in two foot grass dunes!!!!  A welcome beer was awaiting them on their return and then we were invited for a drink upstairs in the main house with Colin.  Wow – not what you’d expect at all.  We were ushered into the main living room complete with a rectangle of leather sofas, a fully-stocked bar, beautiful overhead ceiling fans all framed by floor to ceiling windows overlooking the plantation.  Colin is a keen cook and actually supplies some products to local restaurants and he invited us to try his homemade duck and orange pate and freshly made flatbreads and Tatsiki!  We have since purchased more from him!  They were delicious.  As it was Colin’s quiz night at the local in Lamai he invited us to join him but I just fancied a night on the sofa with a book but Dan was up for a few beers and off they trotted.  A very hammered Dan arrived home at around 1am!!!!  He was particularly pleased when we ended up spending most of Thursday morning at Thai International Hospital with me and my back and him and his hangover!  Mind you, the service we received there was very impressive.  I was seen within minutes of arriving, by triage, by the doctor, then x-rays, then physio, then deep heat treatment, then packed off with painkillers and anti-inflams to take for a week.  Never knew a pulled muscle could be the root of such bloody awful pain. The medication seems to be working – slowly.

We were lucky enough to sample some local entertainment on Thursday night at the local Wat (temple).  There was Thai boxing, traditional dancing and singing on a huge stage, Bingo!!!!, any number of stalls selling foods and goods and tat!  It was absolutely packed with locals, I think if there were half a dozen westerners there, it would have been a lot.  It was really nice to be right in the centre of a real local event.

Friday brought success at last for for Fisherman Dan.  He had been reading up tips for catching squid on the internet and on utilizing these new-found skills, caught his first squid on the first cast!!!  I was lying sunbathing some way away and heard the joyous cries from the other end of the beach.  I’ve caught one, I’ve caught one!  What do I do with it!!!!!  I dutifully walked on over to inspect the catch along with a tea towel and a plastic back.  The squid was inking all over the place and we really were quite unsure as to what to do with it.  One of the local fisherman came along and unhooked it from the jig and put it in the plastic bag.  Success followed with two more and we ended up giving them to the wee restaurant at the end of our road.  They were delighted with them.  Dan was like a kid at Christmas – I don’t think winning the lottery could’ve produced a bigger megawatt smile than he had with his catch!

The next day we set up camp in the same place on the beach and success was Dan’s again – three more squid.  When you are bringing them in, they ink everywhere – about three times – so you have to keep clear!  It’s projectile and unpredictable!  Unfortunately I did not anticipate a fourth ink and my new £4 bikini is now marbled with black ink!!!  Obviously Dan thought this was hilarious as did the four German tourists sitting nearby!   

We had researched how to gut and prepare them for cooking and I was well up for said operation when we returned home but Dan had already given away the prize to our landlord’s wife to cook!  I was quietly relieved!!!  Dan must be the only fisherman in history who will never taste his catch as he can’t abide fish or shellfish of any nature!  Not even a fish finger has passed his lips!

During the course of his euphoria, one of the fishermen asked Dan to help him with his nets.  He was casting out one of those massive round nets and needed a hand.  Dan, ever the helpful person he is, immediately agreed and off he dandered down the beach to help.  I settled down to the business of sunbathing and reading.  About 15 minutes later, Dan returned, thunderous!!  The fisherman had motioned to Dan to take off his shorts, I in my naivete, said that was because he didn’t want them to get caught up in the nets in the deep water, but Dan assured me it was most certainly not that!  When he motioned to the fisherman than he couldn’t take his shorts off as he had nothing underneath, the fisherman lifted his skirt, flashed his own tackle and said neither did he!  The skirt really should’ve given it away!!!  Dan made his leave and arrived back with me amidst constant mutterings of dirty bloody queer and the like.  Needless to say, he and Fisherman Flash have parted company!  Or so he thought!  Later on that afternoon, the fisherman was cruising up and down the beach on his scooter motioning for Dan to go with him!  A choice had to be made – chin him or leave – we left!!!!!!

Just before we went out, Colin presented Dan with a certificate from the Koh Samui Guild of Master Fisherman for his prowess at squid catching!  Will post up a photo of the certificate!  He was delighted!!!

Last night was spent at the most beautiful restaurant and bar we found down a little track.  Whenever you dine out locally in the villages, it feels like you are in a friends home rather than a restaurant.  We had BBQ-ed everything.  Pork, steak, sausages, ribs, chicken, huge prawns (only me obviously), salads, baked potatoes – mmmmm, it was gorgeous.  There was some really great music playing and as if by magic, when I looked up from returning from the loo, who was behind the decks!!!!!  If in doubt as to the Holt’s whereabouts – look no further than where the music is coming from.  He had a blinding night which unfortunately has been spoilt this morning due to a violent attack of vomiting!  While he’s still sleeping, I have taken this opportunity to catch up with the blog.  Not a mission of me mentioning the flashing fisherman if he was conscious!  HA!!

Tomorrow we are off big game fishing with a very eccentric Austrian man (His wife, Neet, is Thai and they own the restaurant at the end of our road).  It should prove an interesting experience as he always comes over as permanently stoned!  Wish us luck!!!!!

Take care M&D x

Deep Fried Locust

Fried Locust

We took the scooter out Sunday evening and walked up and down Lamai market taking in all the sights, sounds and smells.  Most of the food on offer we didn’t even recognize, except for what looked like, no not looked like – was – fried locust!  Along side it were deep fried lavae and other such delicacies.  We didn’t try them!  There were all manner of stalls selling all manner of things – mostly seafood and shellfish.  Whilst it all smelt delicious, we were not adventurous enough to try anything. We opted for dinner at Mr Powns restaurant on the main drag in Lamai Beach and we did eat Thai and weren’t disappointed. 

When we went back to collect the scooter we passed over a bridge and when we looked down into the river that feeds the sea, we saw two 6 foot or more monitor lizards swimming about on the shore line – Note to self: Don’t swim in that bit!

I was still in a bit of discomfort with my back and apparently back ache is best served by a traditional Thai massage so between dinner and Tescos (I know, just doesn’t sound right does it), we decided to go for a massage.  Absolute bliss until the very last minute where they bend you forward and press down with all their bodyweight on top of your shoulders – jesus, I thought I was going to pass out with the pain.  Never mind, was my thought, no pain – no gain - and all that – wrong!!!!!  Not been right since.  If you shook me, I’d rattle from the amount of painkillers I’m taking.  Poor Dan is playing a very good nurse maid but being someone who doesn’t do illness, he’s finding it challenging shall we say!

By the time we had finished dinner, had the massage and visited Tescos for supplies, it was dark – this would be the first time, we had driven any distance on the scooter at night!  Not anywhere as much fun as during the hot, sunny climes of the daylight especially as where we are living is a bit out in the sticks and the street lighting disappears to nowt as we get nearer home!  The only thing we have found so far that is not amazing about Thailand are the bloody stray dogs and whilst during the day they appear to sleep innocently along the roadside minding their own beeswax – bring on darkness, quiet, and a nosy scooter zooming by and it’s a whole other different story.  They are actually quite menacing – barking and gnashing and chasing you along on the scooter.  Rabies is rife here – our landlord was bitten himself a few weeks ago and is in the process of having rabies jabs!  We are steering clear of ANYTHING with the potential to bite!!!!  And we've decided that's anything with a mouth!!!

Monday afternoon was spent on our little private beach.  It was deserted when we arrived, no tourists just a few local fishermen and beachcombers.  Dan has purchased himself a fishing rod and has come over all hunter-gatherer and is determined to bring home the bacon (well squid or fish anyway) to be cooked by our landlady, Yar!  Despite several hours yesterday, chest-deep with some local fishermen, we (the Royal We of course) have come away empty handed.  We even hired out a canoe-type contraption for a couple of quid that meant we could go out deeper over the reef, but no luck – not even a nibble on the rod!  Even the local fishermen, who we watched all afternoon, had only caught a couple of small squid themselves.  I watched most this from the comfort of a hammock made out of banana reeds, strung between two coconut palms!

Tomorrow is another day and determined Dan is going to give it another go.  However, after researching what’s in the sea on the internet last night, he will be casting his line from the edge of the beach and not chest deep.  Several varieties of poisonous sea-snake have put the dampners on that little venture so don’t go worrying that the filming of  The Deadliest Catch will be in anyway compromised!!!!

Take care M&D x

PS  Dan’s managed to get  himself an unexpected body marking – A nice scooter exhaust burn – we’ve lovingly named it “The Samui Tattoo”!!!!

Exploration of the Island….

Well you certainly get to know the roads quick on a scooter here in down town Samui!  We spent the whole of yesterday touring the Island.  We went around the whole of Ko Samui on the scooter in the sun; tops off (Dan not me!) and got ourselves a good wee base tan in the process.  We headed off West through Laem Sor and on through Throng Krut, a little Thai fishing village, devoid of tourists  - class, and then on through Pang Ka Bay, up through Tong Yang and stopped off at Nathon, the ferry pier.  We had breakfast, well if you call chicken fried rice breakfast (Dan had to have the full English – heathen!) then we headed off up around the coast towards Bang Por and Mae Nam ending up in Bophut where the Big Buddha is located.  Very touristy but well worth the visit.  We climbed the millions of steps up to the Buddha and took the obligatory photos.  Mind you, the view from there was magnificent, you could see all the islands, including Ko Phangan and Ko Tao almost.  One thing of note is that everywhere you go, even shops, you are required to take your shoes off outside.  Not a problem but when 100 steps are like walking on hot coals, you don’t hang about. 

Whilst we were at the Big Buddha, we happened upon a Fish Spa – you can guess what’s coming next.  I persuaded Dan to have a go and for someone who most definitely does NOT like his feet being touched, I was surprised when he agreed.  Oh my god – it was weird.  I couldn’t stop laughing for about the first five minutes – it was the strangest feeling but after the initial tickling stopped, it was really quite therapeutic!  The photos are hilarious.  Will post up on FB later. 

We headed off after that around the East side of Samui going through Tong Song Bay, Choeng Mon and ended up in Chaweng Bay, the main tourist area.  There are so many wee places to stop off and get a drink and something to eat and from the outside look like little shacks but when you get inside, the view over the sea is breathtaking!

The scooter was holding up well until we hit rush hour in Chaweng on our way home – it was like driving in London, except on two wheels!  There were scooters whizzing by us three and four up, people sat side-saddle, on phones, smoking, eating pizza, babies and kids wedged inbetween parents.  Totally mental!  Anyhow’s being stuck behind pickups and the like was no fun so Dan decides a little overtake would be in order – no problem ordinarily until on said overtake, wedged between other scooters and two large 4x4s, we got a puncture!!!!!  Bloody hell, the back wheel was weaving all over the place to shouts of “WTF” from me on the back!  We managed to get safely over to the side of the road to inspect the damage and decided a beer would be the only way to decide what to do – we were 15kms from home!  Dan was thinking about how to get this fixed and I was thinking – Excellent, blog fodder!!! As luck would have it, just a short walk up the road, there was a bike repair shop – mind you we were unsure whether we could afford the emergency tube repair - £3.80!!!! 

Not wanting our luck to come a cropper again in the same day, we headed home – eventless thankfully!   You may think that we are living the life of riley here but the laundry stills needs picking up (£1 for a bag full all washed and ironed) and the dishes washing in the villa!  Oh excuse me on that one, the lady upstairs had been in and done everything for us while we were out!).

Dinner was very low key, soup, sweet and sour chicken and a couple of beers at a little local Thai restaurant at the end of our road - but even for £4.00 Dan won't be dining there again - a lone cockroach and some mites in the sugar did some serious damage to the wee place's reputation!  The scooter will be in retirement for a day or two as I have managed to ruck my back up on it – bloody agony but nothing a day or two on the beach won’t sort!

Take care. M&D x